A thought for every streetlight
Reflecting orange solitude
To unlit memory
The streets still so thirsty
Though they drown in puddle
And forgotten autumn leaves
How beautiful their urban coats
Floating down
To be trodden into line
The ghosts of where you walk
Echoes of a footstep
That trips
On grey faces and diesel fumes
With nothing left to exhume
Except home
Where you connect to the screen
Showing you a new world
Is just a step outside
But that’s for tomorrow
Ultimately drifting away
Like each season
Living in brick
Walking on concrete
Dreaming on air
Pausing as sleep beckons
To imagine somewhere new
Anywhere
The obscure overlooked
Notion of two people
Holding hands
Is the memory under the streetlight
The reason for routine
It casts an unearthly glow
I stare so long I become the crack in the wall that spoils a good view of nothing
And forget that the wall is a blank canvass where thoughts can be memories
And memories floating dreams that change, idly falling through that abyss
That dark ambiguous depth where I’ve forgotten most of the things I’ve never seen
And from that wall I see a room that suffocates and steals any hope
Opposite a window that looks out onto rain
Itself reflecting the shadows dancing like candles in courtship
Real people that melt away after a fiery beginning
Where movement was an embrace gracefully shared
Dripping wax that clings to bodies
Can a sticky substance really be called love
I still haven’t learnt to sleep
So in a quiet moment where light is everything
I pretend that same candle is casting its wisdom on the absent
And I’m back on my bed remembering what it felt like to lean against that wall
Holding her when we were outside in the cold
A little heat to burn a departing soul
A little warmth to cherish in a night of a thousand lives
Did you really take me apart brick by brick
And leave me messages on the wall
That appeared from nowhere
Because somebody
showed you
a door.
Against My Fingertips © Adair Broughton
There is a purpose in cause
That necessitates meaning
Are you following
As I’m struggling
To point identity
When I hold your compass
To my mind
I lost myself in following my heart
So I blame every direction
I never took
Although those places you go
Point the same way
I left that, right?
What is mapped out
The contours of your body
Against my fingertips
Or the landscape of your face
Etched like a country
That has no boundaries
To the state i reside
Nowhere hides itself
Quite like the world
Nothing squeezes so tightly
Quite like this distance
I am on this journey
Only because the ticket is free
Ambiguity coils like a snake ready to strike
Its indecision like a poison willing
To choke on what I had to say
I can’t reflect like a mirror that shatters
In opaque weariness from looking
For truth without resolve
I want to brandish a weapon of support
Against a combatant who could not understand
But I will only hurt my pride
There is no spirit left in soul or faith in belief
Or power in word to force away the ghost
Of not knowing what I could have done
The road to nowhere was a false trail
The compass was a wild toy
The journey a dream
I met so many eyes
With no history
But full of the past
I tried so hard to look inside
But I just couldn’t read
Each face a surprise
A treasure chest for another pirate
Maybe when I’ve sunk so low
At least I’ll know what they’ll see
Any Particular War © Adair Broughton
A war is a thousand lives and one
For many reasons and none
Depends on whom you talk to
Or if you hold a gun
Words can be like missiles
Screaming to shake hands
Kill and then go worship
Away from foreign lands
Your flag becomes a terror
For a civilian who doesn’t know
That freedom costs a billion
For a leader who can't let go
Your son dies for pride
Of some paranoid career
But an item on the news
Hides what should be clear
I long to see the consistency
In decisions and the choice
Of something called alternative
Not strangling the voice
Take peace away from history
The politics from the facts
And leave me with naivety
And my random daily acts
Art Is A Danger © Adair Broughton
Art is a danger
To comfort and anger
To fight and treasure
In someone’s decay
That beautiful colour
That colourful word
In finding a meaning
In what is absurd
A signature of existence
Neither truth or lie
A chaos of order
to seeking why
At The Harbour © Adair Broughton
Old men with missing teeth smile at the ships
And each mouth beautiful, stronger than the cliffs
Dirty hands untying knots that strangle time and age
Funny how the lobster claws its future from a cage
Faces red with weather and waves that say goodbye
The distance is horizon, it's a sad look in the eye
Salt is on your lips and its tasting other salt
A fish tries to breathe and drowns your sorry guilt
Fishing for crabs with a line wrapped around fingers
Like a first engagement ring of hidden disasters
Fishing for thoughts with a tide changing with the sky
Something sweet below where angels can’t hear you die
Autumn Leaves I © Adair Broughton
Yellow leaves
Tease more colours
From this dishevelled autumn
Windy reds delight
In modest liberty
Engaged in idle whisper
Naked
Passive
Alive
Dead
I trampled each autumn leaf to death
To hear every crunch of their broken bodies
Snapping away their sinewy existence
Finding beauty in their marooned crunching cries
Because in winter there is nothing
And I want that memory
Background Independent Valentenial Syncretism © Adair Broughton
With the Laws of nature mathematical
Should I question why
And with love the great evolutionary con
Should I even try
Can feelings be related
To a Demiurgal trial
Or does having these emotions
Simply make it all worthwhile
Imbued and lost in dream
Real moments pass me by
Sensing only logic
With numbers that won’t cry
Hiding in the shadows
I sensed your burning light
Now I wonder if you can tell me
Do you know what’s right
I’ve pondered on existence
And ruminated love
Yearned for natures beauty
And the ambiguity from above
Yet I realised this means nothing
If I eternally close my mind
And keep from you my feelings
Of the treasures that we could find
I wonder if I’m romantic
How can I really tell
Is it in finding something
That’s impossible to sell
Or is it a perfect moment
When time appears to slip
As we correlate our passion
With the merging of our lips
I am amorous for the truth
But have a difficulty to express
Just immutable illusion
Of a lonesome sweet caress
And the clues are in the prose
Caught between the line
To realise that these words
Are saying, valentine, be mine
Badge of Honour © Adair Broughton
The clouds are silver like the medal I wore
As a badge of honour,
Proud of the hurt
Received in the rain
And the stinging pain
Of your words on that sad stale night
Then silence follows the storm
With blurry windows
And patterned raindrops
Forming rays of reflective hope
Against an endless weathered joke
That the bright piece of sky is what blinds
The night passes to dancing stars
Am I a statue with a beating heart
Eroded by waves of thought
Into some last hateful pose
Where only misery grows
Its not how things were meant to be
Morning envelops the imagination of the invisible
Making a ghost of every connection to you
Cut from life like a silver axe
Every stroke a lie you told
Every nice word something you sold
There is no refund for belief
Should love evaporate like a puddle upon reflection
If you chop down a tree
Can you be forgiven
If it blocked out the light
And kissed through the night
No matter how deep the roots were living
I want to balance all I feel on some thin line of confusion
That tangles itself around my neck and chokes any words
That could have untied the coils of memory that make me
Think none of this was wasted
I want to turn back time in some naïve misinterpretation
That things could have been different and drown my mind
And its fluid reckoning that what happened was always
Essentially on route
I want to move forward and forget the good and the bad
And not absorb myself with truthful yet misguided worry
For the mistakes people will make who maybe need to make
Them so they can live with regret more easily
I want to understand that I don't have to care or need to think
About how special some things can be when someone else's
Moment can instead be spent thinking about where that new person has actually been.
I want to know I am a good person, that this is not about me,
That I can be no better than who I am and will keep searching for
The great unknown where attention is not compound.
Yeah this is my dawn.
I wake to the beginning of the day and briefly
Forget the ending that failed me in dream
And every illusion that allows me to miss
Tomorrow today
With the morning mist and birdsong I have
A respite from memory and a longing
To free my soul from such calamity
As always thinking about you
But nature doesn’t bring me as close as it does far
Maybe I'm not meant to forget at midday
That I should remember everything
Anyway
Maybe a desire is not quite as relevant as a wish
For something other than an emptiness to feel
That I will be waiting far longer than myself
For the evening and a sign you still care
As night embraces the inadequacy of sleep
Solitude is just a barrier to enfolding arms
And a commitment to purchasing thoughts
While bankrupting a future
Yeah that’s my dawn.
Hate is just an Island
I was lapping at your shores
And I never knew forgiveness
And you couldn't sell what’s pure
So I watched the grounded bird
And saw the flying fish
Lying on the beach
With a sense of what I'd missed
Above the stars were moving
I'd like to think the earth
Of restless youth and longing
Such is the momentary curse
So all the world has melted
Blended with the stone
Doesn't mean I'm a statue
Because I'm longing for a home
Just give me one small moment
To take a step from time
And forget eternal dreams
Where everything seems just fine
It’s nice to be a human
Feelings blended with the past
Doesn't even matter
That we’re not the ones that last
Black and White Clouds © Adair Broughton
Black and white clouds
Separate the sky like piano keys
The storm making music
Crashing with light
And I'm watching
Them combine
Becoming
Splashes of night
On a windowsill of thought
Wind howls to us all
Flowers sway to broken backs
Leaves fall to autumns call
Naked reasons now bare souls
With nothing to grasp
I wish it lasted longer
Us, not the storm or the past
As those years became moments
From a run to a crawl
When everything is gone
Is it more precious?
Or nothing at all
Blue Sky Rained Down © Adair Broughton
The blue sky rained down on me
Perpetuating a ray of hope
In a future of that shared past
It splashed eternity
And watching from a distance
With a cosy breath whispering
Nothing was untrue
With your beating heart
Drumming secret message
It was me who was snared
I could see you holding hands
And loved the reasons
That held us apart
And being on top of the world
Looking for the clouds
I still could not fall
When I learn to cast a shadow
When it is all too late
Maybe then we can feel the rain
The dawn chased the night from its endless dance
And a blue light clasped my dream in its morning embrace
For that one moment that unreality woke my life
But I will forget it too in the same way you forgot me
Which makes me feel better for thinking I was your dream
But we know the truth cannot be improved by breathing a wish
And so we carry on and pretend that we make the right decisions
And our secret hidden nightmares of only knowing ourselves
Are the strength and weakness in always being alone
Although your spirit does drown me
Like a liquid taking the shape of the vessel it’s in
I’m not sure I can forgive you the heaviness on my heart
Maybe you could take pride in that
As you decide to drift apart
Or maybe you could send that dream
The one that dissolves in the blue light
Which was my phone
Missing the last call you ever made.
Branching of Life © Adair Broughton
Dreams turn to drink when every word
Hangs on a moment that gives no opportunity
To think about everything that was said
Feelings change and hurt stays the same
And do they spare a thought as they close
The door on blame
I seriously doubt it
Misty thoughts of unknown paths that
Someone else walks down hand in hand
Fill the neural pathway
And instead of anger liberation strikes, why?
Because it has happened without care
A bridge too far gone
So what is left except the sweet subtle branching of life,
Of hidden journeys entwined in natures seasons,
The foundation of promise that always exists
Even when colour has gone?
Especially then
Because there are people who can offer more
Than required attention, can delve deep in
Acquired retention and who mean what they say
And that is all the hope I need
Butterflies from Hell © Adair Broughton
Hot as the ashes of paper
That flit through the sky
Like butterflies from hell
As your words burnt
Into me
Off the letter
As the hatred that
Wrote those words
Drowned me
In the reflection
Of the mirror
That burnt my eyes
As I looked down
And gave back
Nothing.
Who shares your thoughts
Captures your spirit
And embraces regret
Delicately
Interprets dreams
With candid aplomb
To blur the lines
On existence
Embellishes hopes
Born of magnificent distress
Allays fears
To reach with intent
And offer a silent echo
That is a comfort
If unfurled
That certain way
So why waste a kiss
If bitter is the taste
This sweet weed
Of virtuous pride
To touch and teach you
With soft subtle eyes
Mysterious charm
And butterfly insides
But you will never find them
Sadness is the real beauty
If you calmly reflect
To give them time
I caressed my thoughts with a dream
This picture of you
Sold as seen
It hangs delicately on my soul
I gave up bargaining with the night
A skylight breeze
Filtered with light
Shining through curtain and warming your silhouette
It wraps my imagination with regret
Consoles the memories
Which were never met
I couldn't even say hello
Then that bird flew past the window
The one that sang so simply
With a song just for you
How can I match something so beautiful?
I don't think I can reach into the world
Somehow everything was not enough
And I don’t hate you for that
We lay together once can you remember
In that foreign city which is your mind
And we found dream
And nothing was impossible
Except the possibility of us.
Cause and Effect © Adair Broughton
She painted a pretty picture
Like a postcard from a journey never taken
And each image becomes a moment
Staged by a passer by
And if I'm not mistaken
There is that uncomfortable feeling
That she is the only one
Who can stop this
But she is the cause
And for effect
How was it when I saw her
My life flashed by
Like if you drown
In that simple moment
Forever happens before your eye
And in that eternity
Nothing happens
And with both those thoughts
Everything happens
Except the one thing you wished for
And if everything is relative
Does a broken wish hurt like a broken promise
Its my own fault for believing
When it wasn’t just me
Like you can feel special
But you are not in their thoughts
At the time when things matter
That is what is hard to comprehend
She could make me understand with a look
But when she turned away
I would forget it all
And now I can't sleep
Knowing I'll fall
There is always the option to sleepwalk
And move through walls
But whatever happens
The barriers remain
Creating plenty of tension
With little release
Made me crazy
Searching for peace
I should close down the war
And open the door
But it'll break me down
The same as before
There is a simple answer
Just a few words
She never finds them
And isn’t concerned
She paints a pretty picture
Beautifully poised for dream
And should hang.
In a museum I mean.
Close the Blinds © Adair Broughton
It is through dream I immerse myself in reality
Communicating with silence
And finding emotion like a stone unturned
And what lies beneath
Except the cold earth that allows us walk all over it
Where is left to hide
Except inside yourself
No one can find you there
Do not lose yourself
It is through emotion I can hide any feeling
Directing words to fill a page
And it takes eyes as windows
Where I then have the power to close the blinds
Do you look in and declare concern
Or walk away and always question if
With endless staring into space
Like a gift the answer is neither
And so I push people away
To see how close they will get
Compromised Ideals © Adair Broughton
A bad day at work
And I arrive home to the one who cares
A soothing hand, a smile beyond
And I make a decision
To take you out
Pressure
Suits.
I wonder if he will come back today
With both legs
And some food
The baby too hungry to cry
The eldest denude
Humanity
Ragged
Candlelight reflects
Soft subtle touch
The waiter arrives
With a lovely red
Soothing
We share talk
All gentle
Fireworks light the sky
But no one celebrates
He walks in the door
All red
Why cry
We share pain
Not peace
Coffee is nice
I look at the bill
And soon forget
She tells me her dreams
We have plans
Future
Hands held
No water to clean
Let alone taste
Memories of dust
I dream of sleep
The present
Now
Staring
Confused Limitations © Adair Broughton
Confused limitations
Loves reputations
Meaning that’s lost in time
Fallen emotions
Endless devotions
Impossible to find
I look for an answer
In the middle of winter
Still she springs to mind
In autumns reflection
Of sad anticipation
Wanting to hold her hand
Thoughts everyday
But nothing to say
An eternity trapped inside
I can't look in her eyes
Apologise
Say why I went away
And I can’t comprehend
How to live till the end
When it hurts to be this way
Will I get some reasons?
For loves lost feelings
Or will it just abide
By rules unforgiving
Of something I’m missing
She knows I’m dead inside.
Consciousness © Adair Broughton
There is a bridge I’m sure between my body and mind
A journey of thought but something that’s blind
It hides and it jokes
And in reality floats
Appearances are deceptive I reckon I’ll find
Is awareness quantum or is it purely the classical
Or a fluctuating mixture contained in the cerebral
It’s a great unknown
And a temporary loan
A society of mind but awaiting whose call
Am I really a computer
A programmed soul
As I have emotions
And get out of control
There is a an algorithm I know that makes the best guess
But that’s the probable answer no more and no less
Gödel showed us the limits
Contained in the math
But the best in the business is having a laugh
I know what I am but don’t know the who
Disturbing shadows that manipulate truth
I have liberty
To a certain extent
So give me those choices and let neurons repent
It’s just a question of time
From one thought to the next
But would Zeno’s arrow
Pass the consciousness test
It’s a symbiosis of sorts
About sharing our life
Of feelings and sense
And evolutionary strife
Yet indifference is silly
It’s about progression they say
Of entropy and information
To get through the day
But my mind at night
Can contemplate stars
It just can’t fathom
The girls at the bars
So surprise me with knowledge
Or take it I’m wise
Could you really tell me
How deep that it lies?
So when I look for explanations
Am I wasting my time
Should I really be living
Instead of writing more lines
Because its answers I want
Of what’s given me choice
About all my thoughts
For a final rejoice
Free from the master
Making his plan
Without control
Of this ruminating man
So really its about identity
And all that is me
And that’s why I worry
About what it means to be me
In the end I’m a process
An average of thought
Whatever squeezed through
Without being caught
So I take it as real
That I’m aware straight away
Serial or Parallel
Through night and day
And if it’s a misconception
Then rightfully so
It’s all an illusion
Until we finally know
Cracked Lips © Adair Broughton
The dried riverbed of suggestion
Already washed away
The drowned rock
Now dust today
Fossils found
In the bones of memory
Extinction the virtue
Of nothing to say
Brittle was the subtlety
That ran its course
A drought of love
And withered remorse
The spot of rain
That fell on cracked lips
Like a sweet scent
Of blood wine sips
Lies swim with distaste
In this new found rain
The clouds cry blame
And its still the same
Thirsty arms call
And flow into you
Holding like a dam
To whatever was true
Dancing With Mascara © Adair Broughton
Releasing hope portrayed with clever fantasy
Is not the truth even if it's real
And that reason of forcing a prophecy
Became an excuse for you not to feel
So I disagree with sidelining dream
Substituting a dance with lady mascara
An infatuation overlooking history
Where the future slept for a dollar
Perspective is not some mirrored choice when
Loneliness stares me in the face
And that reflection of making mistakes
Is what makes life such a beautiful ache
I harbour dreams of floating like driftwood
On some endless sea
Thoughts tied to tides whim
Where sky is all I see
And dream of fate set sail with the wind
Whispering secrets on the breeze
To filter out your memory
So sleep can feel free
But the islands golden hew
Is the sunset on my heart
And time has swallowed air
With a future torn apart
Now moonlight is the naked dance
Where soul abandons hope
Pale in its reflection
With no reason to elope
Dark chasm of your heart
Will someone find the light
I spent endless hours thinking
Of why I never got it right
Drowning In Fire © Adair Broughton
Can I eschew thoughts
On a trip of despair
Missing the loneliness
And the means of repair
Where everything is dark
Like a ghost afraid of light
Needing those memories
Locked from sight
I have no fortitude
To compete this time
The sad underground
Between the lines
Embracing the change
That took you away
Finding solace
With nothing to say
Did it work out well
And you gained your desire
Well, I think I am in hell
Drowning in fire
But dance through the flames
And show me you care
Or dance with the devil
And pretend I’m not there
I slice my life into photographs
To line up the moments
Like echoes
That attempt to capture a feeling
The hope of a memory
And something real
And these pretty pictures of the past
Make me stare and wish
They'd look back
At the black and white world
Reflected in your eyes
And that smile
That will never come back
As I lay scattered
On the bed
With each thought a distant song
That plays its tune
In colour
Time became as distant as you
I should capture it now
This moment
That echoes too
That echoes
Echoes
Emblem of Poetic Merit © Adair Broughton
She was an emblem of poetic merit
A wreath of bay leaves
As we embraced under mountains
And the shadows of trees
There is something so sweet
In my dreams she was there
That she gave me a kiss
With the fresh breeze in her hair
I felt so alive
On top of the world
And wanted eternity
With her just to hold
I believe in the fate
That rhymed with her name
Of feelings and desire
For this brown eyed dame
Energy-matter determines space-time curvature
So any relevance to me?
As I lie on my bed contemplating a woman
That has set desire free
What does it matter about the heavens
If I can smile and be
Unequivocal about expansion
But she has found the key
And it don’t matter there’s contraction
As long as she’s fulfilled
Whatever force finds dominance
For its liberation that kept me thrilled
It may be an endless loop
Or a singular event
But whatever the outcome
I value the time we spent
Even Shadows Hide © Adair Broughton
Why does it feel I am at a place where even shadows hide
From my thoughts and what is left inside
Except the lies
That I tell to myself that this wasn't my fault but then realise
They can play the game so much better than I
Except the truths
Which become blurred and lost between a distance
That should have held no meaning
Except it did
Matched only by the confusing and disappointing realisation
That they cared for such a short time and left
Exceptionally easily
For attention that will not be dragged through time but even so
A light is reflecting possibility there will be an
Exception
So why does it still feel I am at a place where even shadows hide?
Eyes Can Only See © Adair Broughton
Is wealth the great destroyer of art
Where poverty tears the mind apart
The great creation
Everything is open
No one can judge
At some moment its too late
For it to be too soon
Is talent a wealth
That bleeds causation
Into unfair dismissal
There is always a critic
For what is never seen
It is hard to admit
That eyes can only see
Fate On The Wall © Adair Broughton
Your heart beats in time to a ticking fate on the wall
As you lie on your bed while missing that call
You can't sleep for the fear that dreams don't come true
Because you realise her world was never waiting for you
And a plane goes past on a trip never made
Shooting a star where wishes were played
And the ceiling turns blurry
The world pivots on fear
A message is lonely
When it’s a season of tears
Your mind finds its patterns on memory lost
But the excuse of wisdom is a price with two costs
The sun sets on idea and night plays its game
But nothing will change while love stays the same
The days become weeks and the weeks into years
And everything you wanted will never be near
So where is the future
Except lost in the past
The only guarantee
That tears don’t last
Your soul is a stranger looking for thought
That took a wrong turn and can never be caught
You can't free idea or sell your mistakes
Just feel a betrayal that the worlds full of fakes
And try to face the clock in its mocking tone
That every second gone is another alone
You fall to the dream
And then things feel ok
Until you wake again
To the remains of the day
Feelings are Forever © Adair Broughton
It’s been a century of complexity
But I fell in love yesterday
Like you care
Everything’s changing
And I’m just contemplating
Everything, everywhere
It’s been love at first sight
With the day and the night
Yet you weren't there
Trusting my feelings
With contemporary meanings
Is that fair?
Now I’m lying awake
With no love to make
But I care
Can I really love
Without the truth from above
Nothing, nowhere
Feelings of Fortuity © Adair Broughton
The feelings of fortuity
That wrap around my soul
Bridging contemplation
From the words you stole
Endless days of summer
Now so far away
The symbol that you left here
Forgotten yesterday
Searching for a meaning
A fruitless thankless task
To once again have purpose
That hides behind a mask
To regain the warming sun
The freshness of your cheeks
To be lost ion misty eyes
Is all anybody seeks
Maybe I’ll remember
The man that I once was
But now I’m happy and reflective
At one with the gods
Maybe you’ll remember
What it means to have no love
To know of simpler times
Somehow not so good
Floating Moon On The Sea © Adair Broughton
You fed the body and starved the soul
Said all the right things
Without any of the feeling
And my silence hurts
But at least it has meaning
You were the reflection of the moon
Shimmering and pale
Dancing on the lake
To hide what had failed
As you dip your hands in the water
The rain starts to fall
That beauty vanishes
When someone else calls
Shadows that fled but never left
Memories being lost instead
I remember something you said
Your eyes a small fortress of hope
Asleep in your bed
Which one of us dreamt
And wanted to forget
We’ll never find out
Where the journey was met
Spirits in the night
A small wave of ambiguity
To a friendship not real
Nothing left
Nothing to conceal
You were a ghost a long before
I could see through you
Flouting laws of nature
Before chaos had a name
She lived purely to confuse me
Restless and untamed
Her darkness was the key
To help me see the light
Pushing back the barriers
To what I couldn't be
And everything was endless
When she looked me in the eye
I would drift until forever
Like flotsam with the tide
But I’m on the driest land
And waiting for a storm
To wash away ideas
Of never being born
I had this naïve thought
The dream was not a fake
That she wouldn't be so easy
For someone else to take
Forget Pen and Sword © Adair Broughton
Forget pens and swords
If pride is mightier than happiness
You can't slice words
Into a sentence of forgiveness
And I can't fight this feeling
Of written emptiness
When all we should do is speak
Feigning strength when
Undoubtedly weak
You think it would be easy to talk?
Don't you realise when that happens
Is when I don't care
There is no imagery to beguile
Like your whispers could
Just that cold truth
That warms anger ever so slightly
Even when I try not to think
About how much has changed
And now understanding
Only strengthens that divide
Because what happened is never undone
Sadly not forgotten
And ultimately destructive
To any possible future
Where your foresight
Battles my hindsight
In unknown territory
Keeping us both apart
A no-mans land in a silent war
And time cannot heal the entrenched
Because you could have acted
Then not now
When the chances were simple
And easily altered
Back to a few words
That always faltered
And never existed
I was wrong to expect them
Not after the one instance
That became more
Always an excuse
That mocked how I felt
You gave me the option
Of knowing more
My imagined prophecy
You made happen
But really
I know you knew that
Love was never your law
It's a lonely moon that hangs in the sky
Pale with thoughts and hanging dry
The man laid bare frozen tear in his eye
To smash on the ground
As the year fell by
A lost flight of colour in a frosty chill
Winter mornings and dreams
And the view from the hill
And broken apart like the snap of a twig
I'd bury my thoughts
If I knew where to dig
In a fallen night
With time that stood still
We ruined our sanctuary
Before either could kill
And what is with silence
That once buried a charm
Because I knew the answer
Would do me more harm
It's a lonely moon that shadows the night
Whispering to demons that gave you more light
And if you remember, you'd have some regrets
Because the star that shines brightest
Doesn’t always burn best
Like the wind on its journey to freshen the cheeks,
As silent as the kiss that forgiveness weeps
And thoughts are left behind
Like the kite in the sky
Colourful and swirling
While I aimed too high
Fugitive of Time © Adair Broughton
Hiding in shadows like a fugitive of time
Murdering the past with silence
When you are creditor and debtor both
Is life the real crime?
Why is beauty better than truth
We can’t dream objectively
Predetermination appears the enemy
If free will is not the charity of proof
Like the first leaves on a spring day
I want to feel your kiss like a breeze
And yes that exhale will be a storm
But the calm consoles me
These autumn leaves look like fire
But nothing compared to your eyes
I want to see you in winter
As bare as the trees
When your angel wings turn to dust
And you land so lightly on my thoughts
The more you open up to me
The deeper the mystery slides
When I realise a person has admired me
I question all that it requires
To be honest rather than liked
Seemingly a compromise on what’s right
From your own achievements I take light
That it was for personal sacrifice
And despondent nights
But this doesn’t lose value
In that the movement was of time
And I as much as you played a part
For it was only for fun and longing
That created what is so dear now.
So when you are a hero no more
Find your own idol
Be it of art, words or music
The cure will be in the desire
And look beyond the days of dreams
And begin an inward search
Of existence and consciousness
No matter how deep or far
The man is gallant even now
From his tune I can sense my soul
Beckoning symbolism and commonality
He sang as much for himself as you
But played so well that tears can come
From a time transcending history
Comes a motion of respect
For what he has given me
A greater gift in choice
There are weaknesses
And I’m glad of that
Its called difference
And it smothers us all
From a stranger so close
Like the continued search
For a Heart of Gold
His own tune now
Can still reach
Moving shadows
But try to find solace
In that he has found balance
And from the darkness
Appears a brightness of life
That means we can be more or less
As big or small as what we want
Simplicity is a dream
And who wants eternity
But you or I should never sleep
Just listen and enjoy
We’ll make sure if anything
Entwined bodies to tangled notes
Waking and limbering to hope
Making the change as much as he
But it could as well be a deed
Only as good as your last
Or with emulation comes
A way of life that fits and grasps
But I’m not humbled in any sense
Life shouldn’t be a competition
Plagued by evolution
Just a realisation that you can
Rather than someone else
And I have a hero
Although we’ve never spoke
Nothing can surpass
The feelings that he evokes
And I know nothing of his life
Except the songs that he has made
Maybe I should try
To understand my life
And the change that he made
And if I hadn’t heard that day
Would I be here writing?
Or would I be here thinking
That something was missing in my life
My very own hero of which there are few
But If I looked closely
It would be each and everyone
You just didn’t know that it was you.
Hidden Meaning © Adair Broughton
Hidden meaning
Words never spoken
Layered upon love
Shattered and broken
You expect to be a friend
I don't have that strength
You don’t have to pretend
To need me
Is this your guilt
Reaching out its hand
Succumbing to emptiness
In no mans land
The delicate rainbow
Crystal colour in eye
But I stood alone
With tears you didn’t cry
Your reflection haunts
In a distant embrace
And I felt like a shadow
Beside your grace
The ghost in a dream
With silence in scream
A planet without an orbit
I miss you
Hollow Ocean © Adair Broughton
It is a hollow sound of the present
Lost to an echo in the past
That gathers feelings with the silence
Like a ship without its mast
I thought I heard your voice
Whispering my name
But silence was the virtue
When nothing stayed the same
Set sail on a different ocean
I can understand your dance
But the wind through the sails
Gambled with the chance
I never was a pirate
Or a fisherman of blues
I didn't seek the lonely
From a treasure chest of news
Sometimes the fear of things
Is a monster from the deep
Where truth becomes ideal
Impossible to keep
You wave the skull and crossbones
And steal feelings like they're loot
But when the storm gets closer
Will the stranger be astute
To every shelter that you lost
And each plank that you walk
Because I cannot be near you
I hurt with every port you call
Shipwrecks seem so peaceful
Despite the way they drowned
And I am no more an island
That will let you run aground
No words that I could cling to
Flotsam and jetsam lost at sea
Its just a hollow ocean
This emptiness and me
Loose moorings lost your morals
And I’m drifting with the tide
Thinking of the pirates
Who took you for a ride.
Hurricane Pain © Adair Broughton
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say
Trying to float with a breeze too slight to raise me from this ground
Wishing for a wind
The words of a self-pitying fool
Who cares for feelings except oneself?
So why do they matter
It’s going to be anger that blows me away
A hurricane pain
It’s not you
Am I too stubborn to allow happiness?
Or is the anger, is this anger real
Pain is like something I’m after
I can see everyone else's perception
Just not my own
Can I live alone?
Without regret
A hurricane pain
Its not you
You can turn me inside out with stories of your past
And I’m not capable of letting history remain
Where it belongs
I need an edge just to falter
Balancing need with hate
On the precipice
Wishing the hurricane
To blow me over
How can I say its not you
And you'll never understand there is too much love
Too dangerous for me too feel
Is it safer to fall now?
Or am I denying
The only thing
Giving me a chance to live
I feel I am ugly
Which hurts
Compared to your beauty
I hope one day you can look back and smile at me
With a nice thought and a gentle memory
I’ll look out for you
But keep my distance
Knowing that I am not the one
Is the most terrible burden to bare
But such is jealousy and ugliness
And equally despair
This hurricane pain
I grow old
Smiling at the ambiguity
Of when that is
Because each day
Only makes sense
If I don’t turn around
If You Stayed The Night © Adair Broughton
What if you stayed the night
Would I see
The delicate impression
The whisper of an angel
Of where you were
Rest on my pillow
A soft indent with the
Smell of your hair
Perfume
And the night before
Laid bare at dawn
A reason for life
Keeps me in bed
With memory
Eyes staring
Smiles thinking
While gentle rays of light
Stroke my face
Warm
But not as warm as you
Inside a room
So many things
Providing an aura
Flowering wings
Inside a fruit
Health shining through
Saying so much
The voice that is mute
The mountain once misty
Fecund figure awakes
Awakened with season
Transformed into shape
Caring not knowing
A smile of truth
Head once bowing
Now held so aloof
Yet the same as before
Just a scenery change
Heavenly admiration
Of the same inner core
Will it always be a lonely stream
Of consciousness
That cannot adhere itself to time
Or pertain to something like insouciance
Which would be a perfect dream
Because when I reflect
Those feelings attack with vigour
Laugh at the present
And tease the past
Into a corner
Where I can’t fight back
I end up tautological
Never managing to quite convey
What I should have said
Yesterday, I hate today
Its all the same.
It’s Like That © Adair Broughton
It’s like that
Like when you can remember the feeling but not the dream
Trapped at the bottom of some deep well of thought
As the blue sky is a circle of hope above
But you drown in some dank dark mood
Of old coins and lost wishes
It's like that
Like when each star is some burning sun but you just see a flicker
No diamonds of infinity or bridging of universal truths
To remember more clearly the things that never happened
And an eclipse blinds you to whatever light you had
Or could have had
It's like that
Like when people say there can be no smoke without fire
But that’s only when the fuel is not love
And when things burn fast and the flames bright
Well the ashes take just as long to cool
They don't scatter themselves
It's like that
When you listen to music for understanding and empathy
Until you find none of the music is personal so you write your own
But then it ends up being a different note you pen
And anger, sadness, hurt and love are the melody
You can't get out of your head
It's like that
I kissed and laid bare all my fears
Enticing the soluble for lost barren years
And hence, found a comfort born of distress
That questioned all that I had to undress
Because this secret I wanted to keep
Leaves me nothing but tears I can't weep
I kissed and she caressed my mind
Of intimate breath and a passion now blind
That we settled for a moment of peace
Converging by chance but enabling release
Because the smile had unsettled the known
And like the answer, forever unknown
I kissed and enjoyed that feeling
Contemporary and still quite appealing
But the vacuum that enabled creation
Is aching for more than fleeting elation
The thoughts are nurtured by a mysterious tryst
And emerging with form from a dreamlike mist
Last Chance Sun © Adair Broughton
The seed was dark, too long in the bud,
Struggling to unfurl before a last chance sun
And how could it grow in a season of shade
Where no love was given or wishes made
Breathing lost thoughts then exhaling desire
Reflecting the moon in a winter of fire
The kernel burns and loses its soul
And stays underground in case it loses control
Then the animal came foraging for fun
Decided to eat what hadn't begun
Now no one will know what would have been
Could have flowered as beautiful as anything seen
Lies on White Paper © Adair Broughton
There is something sincere
In writing lies on white paper
Some emotional winter
With a glacial affront
To slow with movement
Edging effortlessly forwards
Solid and pure
Till the melting emotion
Forms valleys of distaste
Judged only by
The heat they shouldn’t give
The evidence has gone
The landscape changed
In forever dreams
Woken by black pen
Line by Line © Adair Broughton
Where do the invisible barriers come from
That we push against and then pretend restraint
Thinking too much and always too late
Were we pulling ourselves apart
As we pushed our dreams together
Delicately balancing words on a pivot of forever
Do we roam with the hope of finding meaning
Stand and forget what we were seeking
Or subtract emotion to lay bare the feelings
All the time that passes has no change on the moment
Even forgetting reminds me of times never shared
And all the things I should have said but never dared
Can we repair a broken ideal with a lost ghost of angelic appeal
Thoughts follow tides one moon at a time
I want to disappear with my words, line by line.
You were a shadow to feeling
Like a wave to water
Where ambiguity drowned
On the island
And liquid sun
Drips through a cloudy mind
Into someone else
And some other time
Strangely in the heat of the moment
I couldn't fan the flames
Burning slowly in your heart
Into paranoid ashes of memory
Absorbing all I could feel
I don’t think I could visit that way
So I wandered outside
Saw the rainbow cry
In shades of grey
Making creation
A particular day
I tried to breathe your soul
But choked on the food
Called thought
I feast on the starvation
And light the candle
Because only then
Is the darkness clear
Standing on the edge
Of that precipice
That is your eyes
With that world inside
Who would want to fall
For you to look down
And asks what Is real
A reflection
That makes me ponder
Who is looking back
Lonely As A Tree © Adair Broughton
Lonely as a tree
Hanging on a limb
Rooted in winter
Lost leaves fell free
Baring soul for all to see
Branching out
The whole world can pass by
But where else can I be
I watch other trees
Dance in the wind
Are they just as cold
Or is it just me
I will never feel
Except a loose leaf
Is everything a moment
Locked in natures deal
Lost In Thought © Adair Broughton
Lost in thought
Where moments report
To endless time
Distance forgets
Space regrets
The shape it fills
The bitter pill
Sweeter still
Lost in thought
If you could see my thoughts
Would you enter that world
Behind all those doors
That harbour colour and soul
Would you cast a shadow
On the light I made of you
Or could you feel what I feel
And hate that moment of truth
Would you recognise yourself
Watching scenes of a perfect day
When sunlight obscures a silent night
With your regrets absorbed by morning
Do memories mean more than moments
Or last as long as word
That’s where my confusion lies
Believing what I heard
Would you accept my feelings
And realise what you did
Or drown in the power
That all my feelings give
Would you choose a room?
And tease me with that choice
Or sit there with indifference
While you think of him instead.
Metal Machine © Adair Broughton
Chrome gleans and metal machine
Riding burning steel
Assault the senses jumping edges
Through the town of dreams
Rip the truth with speed for proof
And a willingness to learn
Set on fire morbid desire
To crash into the night
Taking back an altered lack
Of living by the wire
The demon seed takes the lead
On a journey made of fear
An alloy hell and Tinkerbelle
Without a change of gear
The tattooed bike with silver light
Pumping through the scene
Pierce my thoughts with random torque
The devils eyes are beams
Take a breath of loneliness
And never turn around
For two wheels is all you need
To free you from the ground.
Are you a dying ember in my thoughts
That still burns against this darkness of night
Or a mist that envelops nature’s scene
That drifts as gently as a walk in morning light
Though distance has us defeated
I'll drown before I talk
And I can't swim in your eyes
So that hurts me even more
Maybe you are a longing in my soul
Or the pain I always need
Knowing that we will never share
Even a flower or a weed
And what can grow from silence
Nurtured like a cowardly shield
Between solitude and loneliness
A thin line in which to yield
Whatever I hear will haunt me
And I feel too much for that.
Whatever I hear will haunt me
And I feel too much for that.
Monument In My Mind © Adair Broughton
How do I build you a monument in my mind
When all I can see is ruins
Broken with a history
That keeps me locked inside
And one statue remains resolute
With its cold heart of stone
Jealous of the marble
With her smooth perfections
Wondering where she went
With those polished curves
And that look of rock
Set against a derelict heart
And with eyebrow raised like an arch
A raindrop caresses the cheek
If only this statue could rebuild that bridge
Away from this wrecked and silent state
Her body lingers, leaning towards moonlight,
Time tracing a path only she can devour.
With the sunrise she reflects on life
And breathes the fresh morning air.
Awake but not awoken, as water cascades and warms
She rests her eyes while she dries
And belongs to someone else's moment
And smiles when told she is loved.
Moonlight Was A Razor © Adair Broughton
The moonlight was a razor
Cutting through the night
And all my thoughts
Were razor sharp
Drifting out of sight
Mercury River shone like silver
Reflected in my dreams
And where it flows
No one knows
Since you left the scene
Your eyes were like a crystal ball
That night we viewed the stars
All full of soul
And miss-control
You danced among the bars
The future held a mirror ball
Glittering for years
But smoke filled eyes
And drink inside
Kissed into my fears
Every sunset is unique in ways
The sunrise can't disguise
And sadness follows
Dawn’s new light
Even more than lies
I tried to be strong but what is the point
Held my mum to listen to the words she couldn’t speak
As she looked at her mum
Taken on a journey no one wants to take
Where a few breaths become more important than time
I saw sixty years of marriage in his tears
And who can comprehend that much emotion
Or what it meant when he said
‘I wish I could just pick her up and make her better’
And I couldn’t tell him she is somewhere better than heaven already
In our thoughts and dreams
Because he needs to know she is somewhere
And I keep thinking of how sorry he was for forgotten arguments
Which I told him were unimportant
And when he kissed her forehead
I knew I was right
Natures Circle © Adair Broughton
No time for hindsight
There’s food to find
No time for thoughts
With my singular mind
Burrowing through life
Beckoning a mate
Swimming upstream
To instinctive fate
There’s an enemy above
Manoeuvring again
So I’ll head for the cover
Dampened with rain
No game to play
Just choices to make
Live by the sea
Live by the lake
What’s driving me on
Does destiny care
As the talon hits my back
And the searing claw tears
So I’m soaring the skies
With a belly that’s full
As I look slowly round
To the clouds turning dull
And the rains beating harsh
And my minds screaming land
As creatures scratch by me
There’s no outstretched hand.
So long are the days that partake in your absence
As I sift through memory
For the simplest delicacy that you curtail
But cushioned by the immutable whisper
That is never heard
And longing doesn’t have to be a friend
As much as an enemy of desire
Without the reason of treason of thought and guilt
Lying to one another
As much as destroying the truth
This isn’t ambiguity
But simple anticipation
From darkened days and
Enlightened nights
And yes its you that I seek
While my mind drifts
And contemplates sleep
For echoed in shadows
Of distant place
Is conciliation
That loss is what gives me hope
You will see it and I will understand
The essence of what keeps us apart
Is what keeps us tied
And your wish for the embrace
Not a gift from me
Your union is not our reunion
But embers of ashes from a fire that didn’t burn
I admire you can seek to find what wasn’t lost
And wait patiently till the day
You also regret
Obfuscate
Shot Zeno’s arrow straight through the heart
And time had no meaning
But it wasn’t that which tore me apart
Just your lack of feeling
Smoother than a Memory
Equal to Time,
This Pebble with its History,
So Distant from Mine
What influenced the Choice
Knowledge of the Sea
Composed thoughts of Strength
Or mere Impartiality?
Colour or the Texture,
Trans Portuguese Sand,
Escape now to this
Our dashed Engerland
Maybe just a present
To me my inner core
A rock just as a pebble
Uniqueness holds no flaw
I'd love to guess the age
Its geological state
But then to guess the past
Will not allow for fate
Its going to have a home
No selenography
And maybe if I’m real
This pebbles just as free
Maybe Time is the answer
To an unfulfilled Demise
As the moon plays its game,
The Questioning Pebble Cries
Disintegrating slowly,
Relationships of rock
There must be more to being
Than this Sentimental lot
Strata born of Strata,
Torn by Tears and Sea
'I'm going to make the land
For my brothers under me'
For years so surreptitious,
Just aching for a chance
To feel Saline solution,
And a Sedulous advance
'And is my home the sand,
Or is it with the sea,
For this lady born of romance,
Decided it for me'
Maybe time is the answer
To an unfulfilled demise
As the stoic plays his game
Beckoning Solace Cries
Perfect Echo © Adair Broughton
The perfect echo
Silhouetted against my life
I gave you everything
It came right back
Like a reflection of diamonds
On a miners back
Who toils for beauty
In the shadowed past
Deep caverns of regret
For lost jewels
I wanted treasure
But there were no rules
A deep disaster
Lost underground
I’ll never find her
Because I can’t turn around
I’ll just keep digging
See how far I get
I dig for freedom,
And dig to forget
I dig for the echo
The sound of her name
I dig myself
A deeper grave
But the one who wins
Isn’t to blame
Arrogance is daylight
Which I won’t see again
I feel like a servant to choice listening to intent
While this liberty kills me
And won't repent
Did we run away or choose to run aground
I guess it’s the same
To be lost or found
I'm on this hurtful journey of wasted possibility
And I’m far removed
From where I want to be
And situations get the better of me
But is it a mistake
To be too proud
Considering you gave up that right
To have me care
With darkness and light
Whatever the twain nothing will change
Don’t make me a fool again
I don’t mind blame
Its when I lie down I feel I will fall
When I close my eyes
I have nothing at all
Patronising is not a remedy for justification
Whatever people believe of themselves
I'm not one to be naïve
Guess I closed my eyes once before
And saw more than enough with my thoughts
If only feelings weren’t there to be betrayed
I’ll go for a walk one day
And find out how it would have felt
With each step a little walk on my grave
And ill know I'd have followed you forever
I cant chase shadows or turn back time
If only you could have felt the same as me
And we can talk or we can attack
But any perspective you want me to have
Cant bring any of it back
Because as you spoke while I slept
I just wasn’t there in your thoughts
And that hurts, knowing of what I dreamt
Our special time was used and passed
And it pains me to say
You knew what this would do
A permanent stain on something so polished
But more than a whim I feel
A harsh fact of breath taking ease
I can only hope your happiness
Gives you no time to reflect
On what else was destroyed
I envy you for what you have
I don’t hate you for what you did
There was more than beauty
All the time in the world to realise
There would never be enough time
To realise what could have been
Rendezvous With A Rumour © Adair Broughton
I had a rendezvous with a rumour
A moment to sacrifice
And then it was me
So truth becomes a dispassionate loner
Fooled into emotion
And its over
Simplicity chooses one person
And cries at the bargain
That made it easy
With that aching unfair treason
Kept hidden without reason
No more dreaming
Their words turn to rust
As spirits eat dust
Regrets?
Ripple Reaches Sunrise © Adair Broughton
I ventured out on a sunset parade
Where colours fade but dreams are made
With dying light they comes to life
The setting thoughts that belong to night
Where people turn mist into fragments
Melting in the orange fire
Taking a walk as far as the sun
In circles of wonder
Like pebbles thrown into the lake
Splashing on others years
Where reflections are raindrops
Of a lake filled with lonely tear
And who knows if a ripple reaches sunrise
Or becomes a wrinkle in time
Little waves like whispers
Just following the wind
Where you are left to talk
As gravity pauses the world
And time can be measured
From the colours of a photograph
That form in golden haze
With shadows crossing the sun
The philosophy of a silhouette
Is where possibility is defined
The calm water
The gentle froth
Benign in soft caress
Soothing sounds of sea
Subtle melting sand
Footprints dent the shore
Spray awakening sense
Sea dancing with spume
Still the sand heals
Sunset and hands
Sea foam toying with land
Pulled by the moon
A sandcastle succumbs
As do the lovers
To a wet embrace
Restless leaves in summer breeze
Fall asleep to sky
Tree trunk pillow of weeping willow
Dreaming by your side
Deepest greens of summer scene
Beauty for the eye
Autumn falls in coloured walls
To forests by the lake
Red and brown are handed down
The feast on nature's plate
The setting sun is having fun
Obsequious to fate
A winter sun has just begun
To shimmer on the world
The naked trees rid their leaves
And stand proudly in the snow
The land turns white in pale delight
Another season goes
Winter repose and brand new clothes
Decorate the view
Flowers emerge from cold purge
Offer colour to the world
Spring is the joy nature a toy
To everything I know.
The land and valley peaceful
Restful in its sleep
Destroyed by marching armies
Lying bodies in a heap
Twisted shrouds of metal
Grinding on dead bone
The young men of an army
Now wishing for their home
Passive fields of green
Ploughed to bloody mud
Innocent until yesterday
For leaders thoughtless good
And tomorrow if they’re lucky
They’ll sing their victory song
And shed a tear for many friends
Who just needed to belong.
Silent Stars © Adair Broughton
I remember when an hour apart seemed like an eternity
Now a single night reduces the universe into silent stars
That I can look upon but never touch
Like the pictures of you I try not to face but they lie
Stranded on my bed surrounding by memories
Fighting to be heard
As your voice whispers once more suggesting the future
Is only the past and while everything changes
Nothing needs to
But I'm lost with words now because they were timely
Devices that let me down and a call of friendship
Is the final recognition that it's all gone
So we should use distance as the real friend that
Will allow you everything you wanted without
Some false concern
That will not embrace this storm that feeds
The lost landscape nor would I plough a field
Where nothing can grow
But now as I lie consoling the vacuum of space
You can rest assured you still have my thoughts
Even though I'd never let you know
Simple Night © Adair Broughton
Lay with me baby and close your eyes
And listen to my words
I'm opening my heart out to you babe
And its hard for me to do
The only sad tear I’ll be shedding is
That this should have been years ago
I can feel your heart, and I’d never
Thought it would happen
And your head is lying on my chest
As I lay stroking your hair
And as our breathing gets heavier
We are sharing the same dreams
A gentle kiss on your cheek
Has told you more than any words
I can hear rain on the window
As you squeeze with me some more
And where there was once rain
A light is shining through
It’s ours to keep
Sleeping Like an Angel © Adair Broughton
Sleeping like an angel
With dreams solace; to curtail
Thoughts so corporeal
Absorbed by love instead.
Lonesome are we together
Softly breathing now
Though at different
Times our eyes wake,
Both look past
The present
To when they will share
Each others gaze
As morning begins
Smoke From The Gun © Adair Broughton
She is like the smoke from the gun when the sound has gone
The underground river flowing unseen
A flock of birds
There is a difference in her eyes
The deepest
Undone
I don't know if I have a soul
Where it could exist without a physical role
Or in confused moiety
Bargaining with a ghost of myself
And maybe the meaning of contemporary feeling
Is just a melancholic embrace
In which we blindly or falsely accuse ourselves
Of lying to the truth
It appears time has become a confusing edifice
Brick by brick acknowledging everything we cannot be
Concentrates on moments to build that wall
And forges regret needlessly
There is nothing heavenly about this
No mausoleum where dreams come true
I wanted to be friends with an angel and failed
Does faith live where hope grew
That is the ethereal spirit
Proof with debt
I want to forget eternity
If it means the same as you
I don’t want to be haunted with your happiness
Or show how weak I am to admit I need you
I would rather play with the shadow of possibility
That will never let me down
State of Season © Adair Broughton
I kicked my thoughts through the leaves
As I watched other leaves fall from the trees
And for a second saw beauty in decay
Like the ephemeral colours of a passing day
I walked to the beach just to smell fresh sea air
And walked through the sand, and realised i care
There was jettisoned debris floating by
Like life itself pulled by tide
So I simply turned round and chose my terrain
And lived so lonely that winter came
Until a seed was sown, from thoughts not mine
And a smile appeared through the cracks of time
And at last we had spring, the season of life
From a girl that I met somehow so right
I woke early because there’s a dream to be had
Of ubiquitous air and of seasons I’m glad
How vast the territories of our minds
That can cast off a barren landscape to a smile
And reach distant shores
With a wave and a dream
And interpret the mildest of touch
To longing desire much more than it seems
Yet still find anger
Where only pity should reside
And a valley of dust
That swirls its patterns with the storm
That doesn’t move from the room
And how the very thoughts that assuage
Can turn even a pleasant flower insane
Till it wilts with forlorn rumination
Until the beckoning spirit of sleep
Drowns the man at sea
At last prostrate on the beach
Your emotions a mound of sand
Myself a grain, oblivious to all
Something that topples and crawls
With the chill of a seasons respite
And the longing brought on by
Frequent moonlight
And the comet so frank in its entirety
As I look up
Can only be
The most beautiful thing I have ever seen
The Distant Embrace © Adair Broughton
Lovers create their dreams
But lose themselves
Changing reality
And memories
Burning starlight
Heat from your eyes
A passion that’s blind
To ancient times
So you want me now
Naked at night
Hiding in the day
Turning your face away
With nothing for me to say
Crying the bemused tear
Of a sad and lonesome year
Distant singing
And the hidden embrace
Of a tale of wonder
And sudden disgrace
So you take from me
Without a care
Not even a thought
About what it ought
To leave when caught
From your transient grasp
That love was a mask
And a thankless task
To be enjoyed for a time
Before the end of the line
Leaves no room
For yourself
Pardon the joys
And philosophical toys
That it don't really matter
You can still make the noise
So shatter the dream
And keep yourself clean
As I remember the days
And all that it means
Was it really you
Or just a passing soul
That gave me something
Verdant and whole
To disperse into nothing
With no room to blame
Are you the winner
If it isn't a game
Is it simplicity you're after
Or from what i refrain
Cause I am just me
As pure as can be
With one or two moments
Of distinguished ability
Well there it is
As you passed straight by
Not even a hello
Or a tear in your eye
Where once we were close
Where time had no choice
But to pass straight by
As the lovers attacked
With a virile dance
And stacked up the chance
Of future romance
Except that it died
For reasons of why
I’ll think once or twice
Just for our sakes
I'll say our goodbyes
The Distant Moon © Adair Broughton
I walked toward a moon I could not see
Hidden by cloud and a summer of whispering leaves
That bloodless pearl and faint lustre so eternal and beautiful
Silently greaves
There is something powerful and inevitable
About the pull of that moon, its permanence
Hanging and falling in natures dance
Its weight a gravity of perspective and law and yes, romance
This is what I felt about you
But maybe I was just one tide
I guess you will always be there
Cold, pale and distant with everything to hide
And when that moon does reappear
Someone else will look up and admire its achromatic glow
Letting the world think that what can be seen can also be known
I need to sleep but I look up and cannot let go
And I never had much faith in fairytales
But I believe there is a man in the moon
Which is why I don't care for night
It’s why I am happy it is out of sight
The Flowers Passed By © Adair Broughton
The flowers passed by
In our Halcyon Days
Long time ago
Lost in a haze
Gather your thoughts
And steal the kiss
Of intangible desire
And lovers remiss
Picture yourself
Lost in embrace
Awaiting love
Lost with the chase
Forgetting the dream
Finding the night
Awaking desire
With morning light
Pertaining to passion
Emotional ties
Realising languor
In lost tearful eyes
Moving the simple
To beckoning light
Fearful of lovers
And life’s dizzy height
Now where are the flowers
Once Colourful and fresh
Glistening with life
Against soft subtle flesh
Withered or used
Once eternal and vast
I lie on my back
And smile at the past
The Funny Thing About Art © Adair Broughton
The funny thing about art
I prefer the shadow to the vase
And how the colours always fade
Bleeding history from the page
How come when we look to the past
We are standing still at last
And the cracks in the ceramics
Lets that certain beauty in
I want to understand it
Where to end and where to begin
The Hellenist © Adair Broughton
You play the part of the actress in a Greek tragedy
But leave the show before the start
I think you wanted everything
So you could feel how it felt to throw it all away
From Hellenist to hell I watch you burn bridges
Forgetting who was on the other side
Left in the revolution of peace
I’ve finally been consumed by silence
It has taken me a long time to realise
That poetic soliloquy's do not change a tale
So the shadow of morning has broken its wish
To fade into daylight with nothing left to give
The Reception © Adair Broughton
So we sit here still
Silent but watching, wary
Which way will they go?
Who will come to take us?
Blowing hot or cold who knows
No luggage but memories
Thoughts, any regrets, maybe,
Some knew
Others surprised
Still the same but we seem vague
We are all watching, yet we can’t talk
That might be best
There is time, expressed differently
Energetically empty I suppose
I need to run but I’d like to walk
Will they hold my hands when they come?
Or do we sit still, unprepared, but knowing
Blowing north or south who knows
Eternity, a whisper says spring, no more
It’s beckoning repose, yet the warm breeze
Dissipates calmly, fluid
I feel comfort and friendship, love
The journey again
Forgotten.
I look out at trees teased by breeze
Watch shadows rise and fall as the earth breathes
I watch the sky turn grey as clouds complain
And listen to the drops of rain drown the windowpane
This storm is not outside
Where the people search for shelter
They say it clears the air
Can’t do anything to help her
I contemplate what could have been
As a gap in the cloud duels a sunbeam
And I long to see a rainbow awash with her colour
And find a beautiful memory, unlike no other
But this storm breaks inside
Where people cannot find you
It’s impossible to hide
Because you need her to find you
The Tempest Cometh © Adair Broughton
Lubricity in nightmare,
Fervent the dream
I picked a Greek lotus, battling unseen;
Seething vexation,
Consuming the languor
Look what she's done, a priapic born anger
Enfolding legs
Round a venial lover
Pleasant desire yet killing another
Supposing the truth
In consuming the kissed
Of a passionate heart, dissipating the mist
And when we're entwined
The freed carnal beast
A foraging for fun, the hunger and feast
Still waters run deep
At the mariners dance
Hence the tempest cometh, to the waves of chance
Hesitation, trepidation
Evocative cries
Exploring your emotion and nurturing thighs
Now breathing duality
Or spurious love
The lust from below now released from above
The guilt is congenial
And the poem symphonic
But literally we're young and still embryonic
It may still flower
From this tainted seed
But forever the outcome, we can't escape need
I think you think my words
Are lost to some forgotten moment
When the future was the only past we had
And I often assume the worst when
Forgetting the best is the reflection
Of where we are
And soon we can hold each other close
And realise that nothing else can
Compare
But then I realise the moment
Is all it can ever be as
Something slips
And slides into you
Like a dream that wont deny
It’s own ending
So that’s where we are
Lost before a beginning
And change
Isn’t always
Me.
My thoughts are the leaves that fall from trees
Whispering your name through the seasons
Do you look out in winter
Think of how cold I could be
That naked heart giving up on its reason
Or think back to autumn
In natures seduction
Still waving to you in the breeze
To the beat of the rain and a sad windowpane
That drowns out all of that treason
With springs new growth now past hope
I can’t elicit new meaning
Where seasons go
Does anyone know
Or is it a trial by feeling?
My thoughts are the clouds that drift silently past
On the journey that has no ending
And I can’t comprehend
Or even pretend
That the rains can wash away being
Because if I'd looked in your eye
At the point that it died
I'd have done all in my power to see you
But you left in a storm
When a warning was born
To the endless surprise I was finding
I don’t want to let go
Be free or to know
That my love can find no understanding
Ties That Bind © Adair Broughton
Even painful memories are ties that bind
It’s you that plays with the knots in my mind
Like a photograph that fades through times hazy mask
It becomes more real as it destroys the past
And the less I think the more I feel
The jagged word on an uneven keel
Riding the waves, embracing the storm
Time slices oceans on an island reborn
But lapping at the shores is not a new sun
The hour glass breaks and the sand has begun
Walking inland into the forest of lies
With solitude a friend its still hurts for goodbye
And the stars dance away without an embrace
And I’m back to those eyes and that pretty face
Even painful memories are ties that bind
It’s you that plays with the knots in my mind
Will time take away these thoughts
Of the moons reflection in your eye
Or when the sunlight kissed your hair
And you smiled
Will time be the friend that I could not?
And wrap your soul in a memory
When promises felt real
And you cried
Time is not a ghost in my mind like you
But the spirit of possibility reaching my winter
No matter what the truth, the change of season
Is killing me
But what use are these concerns
When we timed out on your choices
I can't say how I feel
And you know that
So will time show a wrong decision?
When it's too late to heal
Silence is how I function
While my mind shouts
Time is the echo of that call
That reverberates from every wall I built
You couldn’t knock that down
And that is your strength.
From nothing sprang something and took time for a ride,
The place where we met still there when we died
And how matter moves on, relative to light
We can’t understand so we put up a fight
So new beginnings mean nothing if they were old before
Like the timeless person who has no need for cures
What is a possession except a transient grasp
Of so little reason in our wasteful clasp
And we measure by emotion not physical law
The unified field to nature’s flaw
We march with the arrow that will shoot us still
The greatest teacher is one who will kill
A transient species, searching omnipotence
Finding reality a fitting come-uppance
Treading so lightly we should just enjoy
Times beauty just is and we its toy
Time Too Proud © Adair Broughton
It wasn't the decision,
I could make again
Because hindsight holds
Reality escaping the den
The need for freedom,
It doesn't seem right.
But surely a last push
Before I vanish from sight
.
Time why so fast
With distractions of you
Too realise after all
That my frustration just grew
I'm thinking, why be sombre,
All the time we had to hold
But two well made rings
Yet it’s my heart that won’t meld
Am I dishonest, guilty of sorts?
Of the future, not real
But it wasn't right, I do know that.
Then what. What do I feel?
Why do I push, why be a barrier?
I can see now that it is nature,
My nature.
And something I desire to be less
Distinctive.
The question now is how to curtail the
Frustration and hurt that makes me be,
That plays its game so tenderly,
Yet hurtfully. Always hurtfully.
My dog Timmy is a pimp
He has this cane, but it’s not for a limp
It came as a real shock to me
But he’s my best friend
So naturally
Its cool that he
Has all these Biotches
Of various breeds
That wear these tight fitting leads
And strut their stuff
That gets me in stitches
But the funniest thing
Is that their owners don’t know
What goes on in the street
You think cocking a leg
Is about taking a leak
They’re leaving a message
Subtle and more discreet
Than some loud bark
That you hear in a park
So when you’re near a tree
You your dog and me
Think about Timmy
The one whose a pimp
With a cane but no limp.
When a dream becomes a memory
What flowers but the forgotten
Blossoming with intent
Of nourishing lost forever's
And idly I waited for some mistake
To fix itself too late
Like a candle waxing lyrical
Flickering in its fate
And love is that burning idiom
With sincerity for the chase
So Beautiful but hurting
Melting face to face
And understandings fail
Because I won’t let go of pride
To a promise of perfection
That I didn’t know would hide
And will it burn forever
To eschew the silent theme
Because I miss her more than ever
My candlelight of dream
Too Many Faces © Adair Broughton
With life at my feet
The red carpet for eternity
Cushioning each footstep
That can go neither side
To be free for one moment
Beckoning the unknown
There is beauty in danger
A heartbeat away
To grow old like a tree
Rooted in power
The leaves only whisper
That they are glad of the wind
There are just too many faces
To understand even one
I can’t forget the ripple
In awe of young eyes
That gently laps
Onto unknown shores
The stone sinks
But with depth you rise
Dreams collide on sincere means
Lets forget life
Silence is the secret
The clues couldn’t hide
Seems you didn’t look far
With someone at your side
Every time I wrote
I was looking for your name
I could not find forever
With nothing left to gain
It’s sincerity that wept
As the poems turned to rust
And statues of pretending
Laboured in the dust
You couldn’t find a moment
To let me know the truth
Makes a mockery of friendship
Ruined by that noose
Now hanging like a willow
Weeping in the sun
The only thing I wanted
Was a sorry looking gun
Looking through a keyhole
The picture seemed so clear
But I should have left sooner
I was right in what I feared
Because no key fits that lock
As you hide behind the walls
Letting people enter
And twisting with nice cruel
And thank you for the letter
On the day you said goodbye
Now I understand
Why you could not cry
It helps me to pretend
That in some alternate state
I was yours to lend
Without a reasoned fate
I have nothing but my thoughts
To keep from being born
So I remember what has been
And forget the futures torn
Trying To Find © Adair Broughton
Trying to find the right words
To end a love that never existed
For you
With the guilt that makes me feel alive
Everything i write seems to hurt
People
So how does that make sense
But still the day i cry is the day i die
I don’t know who i am
Can you admit to yourself
Responding in that way
It’s about people
Forgettable men will hurt you
To make themselves unforgettable
And I should remember
Who I am today
Who should i be today?
And when entrenchment comes embattlement
The balance was all in vain
The world doesn’t need saving
I must attempt to outlive myself
It’s not just about people
Clarity isn’t comprehension
It’s about me basically
It’s about me thinking about you
It’s about all we could have been
And that’s about it
I walked away in silence then my foot broke a twig
Snapping reality into sad refrain
It was more of a goodbye than you gave me
A sudden ending for you to branch out
Did you offer friendliness rather than friendship
Why can't I praise that pretence
Were there some words between the lines I didn't read
Because I never knew your thoughts
Did you offer an empty shell for shelter or a confused soul
That was trying hard to tell me what I wanted to hear
Did I know this all along
That you were always looking elsewhere
Why did I presume time would bring you back
When you could never be up front
Even when we used our mouths for insults
Rather than whispering our hugs
The universe between us expands
We drift into the void of memory
And then each moment of every day
Becomes a part of me instead of you
If you walked the other way
Would a sound mean anything to you
Do you look at the simplest thing
And miss our complications
The big picture is just a small window
You can only see so much through a keyhole
And the end of that journey is a desert
A beautiful photo ruined by haze
You are mostly space babe
You don’t even exist
Unless I see you
But you always resist
Why are you something
Rather than nothing
I’m like the particle
You are the wave
Duality baby
Between me and you
Certain uncertainty
Restless and free
You are the light babe
Travelling at speed
I’m always chasing
A cyclical need
Your curves of time
Endless and plane
Slightly inhomogeneous
Spiralling cluster untrained
And from above
We wrestled below
You are the star babe
And the dark show
And now we ruminate
About the touch
Of an eternal era
Ending robust
Of as much rejection
As timeless attraction
You matter, I’m matter
The sum of our parts
We are the ones
Who are classed as old
The man was right
Or so I’ve been told
We found out together
From best guess to less
Realising the central
From insignificant jest
And yet we have force
The constants of why
Natures own gamble
Paid for in time
Furthering advancement
Or biblical guilt
From pre-programmed desire
Genetic knots of ilk
Symmetry means nothing
Except in your face
The sameness of equality
Falsifying the race
To grow in proportion
Of visible size
How far you have travelled
Since you had that first cry
It’s not just the energy
Of typical thread
Of perceived infinities
That holds nothing but dread
And as you move
I’m there with you lady
Wherever that is
It’s a ride born of deity
Proving the age
Of timeless demise
Forgetting the bride
Of ages gone by
We consummated our opinion
And for once had unity
No matter what structure
The need was congenial
As your eyes closed
For a universe that’s open
We relied on the facts
Against the inherent motion
But is the importance
A stage set for us
Or is thinking for feeling
More laughable to trust
And where is the offspring
From food and earth
To check the same questions
Like bearers of mirth
The humour in knowledge
Is a remorseless dance
Symphonic and harmonic
And basically chance
Deterministic credulity
Quantum fluctuation
Seen at a worldly scale
A mere aberration
Flawless and steady
We still sense it now
Compressed algorithm
The dice man knows how
I value your values
And aesthetic delights
But not the sycophancy
That shadow the nights
Just because is not meaning
It’s a long road ahead
To find out too quickly
Will take you to bed
Yet I followed you once
With that sweet smile of want
Till you found out the reason
But forgetting the point
But it ain’t me babe
As Dylan once said
The music is key though
And keeps time with the head
Of oneness at levels
That we can’t comprehend
Of energy and creation
We’ll get there or pretend
Probing the mind
Will find hidden space
But Discerning of features
Does it help with the chase?
Baby we now look ahead
While dissecting our past
And find no real answers
With our present cast
We can look deeper than ever
Combating time
But our cells still suffer
And care nothing for rhyme
The strings may be super
Spatially curled
But its your electrons I feel
In orbiting shells
Yet your skin feels smooth
That’s the sense of it I guess
Is a molecule of water
In any sense wet